A short story in three parts by Forrest C Greenslade
Part One of Three
Things went pretty well after the farmer was expelled. All of the animals worked together. They made rules to ensure the old ways did not come back to the farm. I guess you know what happened then. The pigs decided that “All animals were equal but some animals were more equal than others.” They took
up residence in the farmhouse, which was prohibited by the rules. They dominated the other animals and the farm became as bad as it was when the farmer was in charge – a precautionary tale.
But the story didn’t end there. The pigs began to argue
among themselves. Some pigs banded together and formed a powerful group – The
Great Outstanding Pigs. The GOP made the other pigs and all the other animals
work long hours under intolerable conditions. They did not let any other
animals have a say in the governance of the farm. They called it reform. The
GOP bought up other farms. If the human farmers resisted, the pigs forced the
other animals to invade the farm and take it over. The GOP became bigger and
more powerful over the next few years.
Then, a different pig took over the GOP -- the Great Orange
Pig. He had amassed farms all over the world and had written a book – The Art
of the Squeal. He made all the pigs wear silly red hats with holes cut out for
their little pointed ears. He gave all his little piglet offspring high positions
in the management of all the farms. He associated himself and his
administration with the worst swine all over the world.
Many farm animals tried to organize themselves to oppose the
Great Orange Pig. They organized themselves under the leadership of the Old Donkey
who had been around the farm forever. Even with his considerable age, he ran
our front of the rest of the animals – but there were many other animals, at
least 24, who wanted to lead to opposition to The Great Orange Pig themselves.
They attacked the Old Donkey’s track record. They said that he made some young
Jennies uncomfortable. They said that it was time to pass the reins to a new
generation of donkeys. Even the Great Orange Pig made fun of the Old Donkey.
We do not know the rest of the story yet. Will the Great
Orange Pig make the entire word a swill? Or -- will we all just get another
kick in the ass.
Part Two of Three
The donkeys ran around in circles braying at one another.
The jennies said that the jacks were making asses of themselves. The jacks
argued about that the jennies were shrill. They all said that the Real Old Jack
had lost a step or two.
Meanwhile, the Great Orange Pig tried to make a deal with on
old bear on a farm far away to find out dirt on the Real Old Donkey. The donkeys
who lived in the basement of the farmhouse said that this was very naughty and
tried to get the Great Orange Pig thrown out. However, the pigs who lived
upstairs said that it was fine for the Great Orange Pig to do any disgusting
thing that he wanted.
Suddenly, some bats who lived on the other side of the
world, infected pigs and donkeys and many other critters with foot and mouth
disease. The Great Orange Pig told everyone that this was no big deal and they
should just keep doing their farm work. The donkeys said that the Great Orange
Pig was bat shit crazy. Meanwhile, the Real Old Donkey won the right to
challenge the Great Orange Pig for who would run the farm. The scientific
critters advised that all animals should stay home and wear boots to keep from
spreading the foot and mouth disease. The Real Old Donkey followed their
advice. The Great Orange Pig went barefoot and oinked all over to lots of other
pigs.
The farm work did not get done because all the critters were
getting sick. The farm was in terrible trouble.
But this is not the end of the story. The Great Orange Pig
and the Real Old Donkey will fight it out in November to decide which one will
run the farm.
Part Three of three
The Gross Orange Pig continued to run around barefoot and
oinking and exposing all the other pigs to foot and mouth disease. He even
caught it himself and so did his own little piglet. The Real Old Donkey kept his
boots on and acted as a good model of responsibility. The Real Old Donkey
picked a Spunky Young Jenny as his running mate. The election went on and on
and on.
Well – The Real Old Donkey and the Spunky Young Jenny won.
So, I guess that this is almost the end of my little story.
But you know what they say, “It ain’t over until the Fat Pig
Squeals.”
Part Four of Three
Well, I thought that my story was complete.
Unfortunately, it was not. The Great Orange Pig and his swine ilk began oinking that the election was stolen by the Real Old Donkey. They lied so much that piglet all over believed that the Real Old Donkey was not the real President. They all lied and lied and lied. They concocted a conspir–ass–ee theory -- a crazy plan to keep the Real Old Donkey from taking office and keep The Great Orange Pig in power. The Great Orange Pig ordered his VP, the Wimpy Wannabe Pig, to cheat in certifying the election and declare the Great Orange Pig the winner. He said that one pig could not choose the President. All the critters choose the President. The Great Orange Pig called for all his swine followers to come to the National Sacred Barn to disrupt the certification. The Wimpy Wannabe Pig told the Great Orange Pig that he had to certify that the Real Old Donkey was President. Lots of the crazed swine broke into the National Sacred Barn, made a terrible mess, turned it into a pig stie, and tried to hang the Wimpy Wannabe Pig.
The Wimpy Wannabe Pig did certify that the Real Old Donkey was the President, and he took office.
The Great Orange Pig left the White Farmhouse and flew down
to Mara Lardo, his own pig pen in Florida.
Most of his swine
followers still believe that the Real Old Donkey had stolen the election.
I keep thinking that
this is the end of my story.
But I guess it ain't really over until Fat Pig squeals.
